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  • Writer's pictureEmily Taylor

Finding a New Normal

Card — Nine of Cups (reversed)

Color — Green

Incense — Balsam


I’m feeling incredibly called out by the cards I’ve been drawing. The Nine of Cups, reversed, is telling me that any feeling of contentment or fulfillment can only come from within, and that’s what I need to be cultivating. The past few days have really been hitting home, and it’s kind of unsettling. I am aware that growth requires discomfort, so, I will ruminate on what the cards are telling me. Some of it, I’ve already taken steps to deal with. I am trying to focus inward and cultivate the things I need for myself and my family. Sometimes, that does mean taking time to do the things I want to do.

I am focused on the routine right now. I get up in the morning with the husband, get him situated with what he needs for work, whether that’s at home or away. I get myself some coffee and, when the Boychild emerges from his slumber, get him situated for the day. I am setting aside time to write and working on regaining a schedule. At night, I settle in while the husband plays a video game (currently Baldur’s Gate) and I crochet. I am trying to sweep the deck and clear out space for whatever the “new normal” is.

Two years ago, we were hearing about a new virus shutting down China and waiting to see what would happen. Would it come here? How would America handle it? I remembered the Ebola and H1N1 pandemics. We were careful, I made the kids change when the got in from school so I could do their laundry immediately, but overall, life went on. No matter how I felt about Trump, they wouldn’t let him screw this up that badly, I thought. I figured it would be a few months of caution while we got things under control, but that at least we’d have summer in 2020.

Looking back on those halcyon days is somewhat painful. I know everyone is tired, worn down by the pandemic, and we were already tired from dealing with the absolute shit-show of a presidency in 2020. My belief that this was going to be short-lived was not borne out. And, as 2020 ended and 2021 began, other things made life even more difficult. But, now, we’re in year two of the pandemic, and the people in charge are just shrugging and saying: “We have to learn to live with it.” I suppose that’s great for people who have money to afford treatments and time off work, but for the vast majority of people in America, that’s not the case.

What this means, for my family at least, is that we need to sort out what that normal means. Boychild has not attended any sort of in-person class for two years. His drawing and animation classes have been virtual, and we’ve been left to our own devices for his archery practice. I’ve been operating under the assumption that things would go back to normal. At this point, it’s clear that will not be the case, and we need to figure out our own “new normal.” And, going back to today’s card, I cannot expect that people will do what they need to to make that possible. I will not find that contentment from outside.

Which is why I am trying this “clean sweep” method as I figure out what I can do and what I can’t do. Change what I can, let go of what I can’t, and hopefully figure out the difference between the two.


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