Card — Five of Swords
Color — Purple
Incense — Mint
According to today’s card, I have definitely achieved growth, but there is more to come. I’m not sure I’m happy with this interpretation of events.
Today, I am making some sort of beef and broccoli dish. I asked the husband if he would prefer an Asian or pasta dish for dinner, and he chose an Asian dish. I ended up with a batch of “finely cubed beef”. The beef was actually supposed to be “stew beef” but, obviously, that is not what I ended up with. So, instead, I will figure out what I am doing with actual tiny chunks of beef, and probably make some rice and toss it all together.
I need to sit down and look at all the writing projects I have started. I’m not sure I can go back to the easy stories right now since I am struggling to figure out where I am mentally. I told the Husband last night, my goal for this year is to stop trying to force things. We have both lost loved ones and we are both struggling to regain some sense of balance in who we are and what we need to do.
I feel somewhat guilty because, here I am, 40+ years old, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I am lucky that my husband and I both are more than willing to give our partner the space to explore and discuss what we need to do to actually be the people we want to be. We are both, deep down inside, writers. What that means changes based on what our writing needs are.
And, between you and I, it’s not really a surprise that Boychild wants to write stories as well. I remember reading an article that kids will gravitate to the things they are exposed to, and, with our child, he has definitely been exposed to all the terrible and wonderful things about writing. I haven not yet figured out ho9w to explain about the compulsion that writers have to write. It doesn’t matter what sort of story you are creating, what sort of world you are crafting, the end of the line remains writing the story.
It’s hard to be a writer, to have WORLDS live inside your subconscious, but, perhaps at the end of all of this, life continues BECAUSE we choose to write. Because we choose to see what is beyond the normal scope of vision.
I think, if given the chance, THAT is what I would warn future writers about. We all live with a world around us, but writers possess the unerring capability to breach those barriers. We have to reach beyond what is known and explore the uncharted, come up with responses to the unexpected, and, eventually, embrace the things that make the future worth living.
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