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  • Writer's pictureEmily Taylor

Snow Day Ruminations

Card — Ace of Swords (reversed)

Color — White

Incense — Narcissus


 


We’ve had snow today, so I appreciate the color of the day. And I’m not entirely sure what narcissus smells like, so I’m not going to worry about that. However, the card I pulled today is both amusing and fitting.


A reversed Ace of Swords essentially means I need to calm down and breathe during a time of chaos and stress. Focus inwards and find new strength from inside myself. I look around at the current state of affairs and find, that is probably a true and accurate statement.


I also took a big step for myself today, and now I have to wait and see if anything comes of it. It definitely fits in with the card I drew, so, I wait and see. In the mean time, I am still pushing myself to write and get things done. After the past year, I feel sort of lost. Scratch that, after the past TWO years, I feel totally lost. I am OK with that, honestly, because I feel like moving forward is going to require that I acknowledge that I don’t know what I’m doing or what’s going on right now. We underwent serious emotional turmoil these past two years, the Husband and I both lost parents, and in my case, it was on top of regaining a parent after 30 years. It’s OK to feel a little discombobulated after all of that.


But,it’s not OK to stop. I know that too. Which is part of why I am writing these blog entries. I may feel somewhat lost and blinded at the moment, and I may fall down again, but that’s OK too. The key here is pulling myself up and back together. And I can’t do that in a panic. That is something I wish past me knew.


So, on this snowy day, I am reminded to treat myself with grace. We’re going to continue healing and hunkering down. Numbers from COVID are on the rise in the area, and no one seems inclined to do what needs to be done to stop it. Yesterday, I saw a news story that the UK was talking about “learning to live” with COVID and that they were holding up the US as an example. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.


Here's the thing, learning to "live with" COVID and having a "new normal" DOES NOT MEAN pretending that COVID doesn't exist. If we have to live with this, it's going to require actually DOING something instead of stopping everything. "Living With" means expanding testing and doing targeted lockdowns. It means blended schooling and blended office environments. It means mask mandates and limited capacities.


It DOESN'T mean throwing up your hands and saying: "Oh well, guess we lost." This sort of half-assed response is why we're up to an Omicron variant and staring down the barrel at more, possibly deadlier variants. This disease attacks the vascular and nervous system. People have been reporting the EMERGENCE of Long COVID symptoms up to 6 months AFTER their illness. That's not counting all the other things that can be induced by COVID while not directly caused by it.


When it attacks the vascular system, it can cause blood clots leading to stroke, heart attack, erectile dysfunction, sterility, kidney issues, liver issues, and more. When it attacks the nervous system, it can cause a shingles-like rash, loss of smell, loss of taste, brain fog, blindness, neruopathy, and more. In a country where the leading cause of bankruptcy stems from "medical debt", ignoring a glaring "pre-existing condition" under the auspices of "living with it" is a complete abdication of responsibility and dereliction of duty by our government.


These things make me angry, and they can make me feel hopeless and frustrated. Which, in general, is when I turn to my tea and books and crocheting. I wish I had answers, and I wish I could protect my family, but as I told the boychild, we can only do what we can do for ourselves. That means masking up now with KN95 masks, still avoiding public places, and isolating as much as possible. As today’s card pointed out, the world is indeed stressful and chaotic. We need to find that strength and peace elsewhere.


 

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