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  • Writer's pictureEmily Taylor

Today -- Musings on grief


A small bird on snow
Dark Eyed Junco by Jocelyn Anderson

Today, I saw at least 8 different species of bird at my bird feeder. Juncos, Chickadees, Titmice, Sparrows, Woodpeckers, Cardinals, Blue Jays, and Mourning Doves. The Mourning Doves were new visitors.

Today, it snowed. We woke up this morning to a winter weather advisory and snow coming down. The snow is supposed to continue off and on through tomorrow and then pick up again on Friday. (And tomorrow is a WFH day for the Husband, which means tomorrow will be good too.)

Today, I had a cup of tea. It's a new flavor (for me). Celestial Seasonings "Black Cherry Berry" tea. It's definitely got the flavor. The mellow sweet flavor of black cherry mixed with a bright, sharp tang of berries. I'm a huge fan of tea, and I have loved Celestial Seasonings tea in particular since I was a young girl and I heard Pat Robertson say that "only baby killing feminists and witches" drank Celestial Seasonings. Since then, I always have some Celestial Seasonings on hand. (I don't know what it was about Celestial Seasonings in particular that set him off, but even single digit aged me knew this was bullshit.)

Today, I made popcorn. It doesn't sound like much, but the Husband bought me a hot air popper because I love popcorn, but I don't love the clean-up from making it on the stove, particularly when all I want is a quick bowl of popcorn at night. The popper arrived this weekend, and I finally got a chance to get it sorted out and used today. (I will probably have more popcorn tonight as well.)

I bring this up because, grief isn't always linear, and it is absolutely a process our household is still going through. The stages of grief are always presented in a linear fashion. You start at denial and work your way through to acceptance, and then you're free! What people don't realize is that those stages were presented that way for people coming to terms with their own deaths. It wasn't meant for those of us left behind.

As you struggle through the maze of grieving, it's OK to take stock of the small things that happened and that made you happy. Even if it means you sit there and list the little things that made today a good day.


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